It’s hard to believe that four short weeks ago, I was still a mom of two, working my last day before having the twins. I was 38 weeks and a day pregnant, dreaming of all the fun things that being a new mom was going to bring my way. In this last four weeks, I’ve been able to take the time to reflect on why I love being a new mom for the third time.
One would assume that I love being a new mom because of snuggles, baby smiles, and the smell of baby hair. Don’t get me wrong. Watching my girls grow (just as I did with my older two) has been an absolute blessing in its own right. The girls are amazing, but being a new mom has done something spectacular for me, for my own spirit. With this, my final pregnancy, I vowed to enjoy it and embrace it. That’s exactly what I did, allowing for me to come up with three reasons why I love being a new mom (that have little to do with the babies).
Why I Love Being a New Mom
One: Being a new mom means I can reconnect with my body. Being pregnant with twins, I gained 60 pounds (which was admittedly very tough after losing 130 in the past three years). After having the twins, I’ve lost almost 50 of that; however, it’s not about the weight loss and “bouncing back” into my size 10 jeans. It’s about listening to what my body needs and reconnecting the messages from my brain to my bones and muscles for healing.
It’s been hard for someone like me who was previously very dedicated to personal wellness to not just bounce back, though. Reconnecting has meant I need to listen when my body needs medicine (I am not a superwoman), rest (you try to just lay down on the couch with four kids), and eat plenty of healthy food to heal your body and fuel the growth of newborn twins. It meant having to set alarms to be sure I took pain medicine because I’d forget or think I didn’t need it. It meant I had to understand that I wasn’t going to be walking Arianna to the bus, let alone running half marathons, anytime soon. It meant I had to stock up on protein filled snacks and ask someone to help me ensure my fridge was full of fruits and vegetables instead of turning to my pantry of processed snacks.
Yes, it continues to be a hard journey, but reconnecting with my body and listening to what it really needs has been one of the things I’ve loved most. I can now look at my body and say with pride that it’s birthed four children and kept me living and breathing. I have learned to listen before I end up hurt and not able to give to my kids. I love this about being a new mom because it in a way allows me the right to be somewhat selfish yet at the same time giving. A win-win.
Two: Being a new mom means I can reconnect with my friends. In the past few months, I’ve been in a way forced to slow down and enjoy my personal life a little bit more. This has meant more time visiting with friends, engaging in social media, and accepting help when I am afraid to admit it.
The glory of maternity leave is that I have some time to just be a friend. There is time to scroll through Facebook timelines and see what my friends are going through. I’ve been able to find opportunities to pray for my friends or celebrate them in ways I didn’t give the time to before I slowed my life down (sorry, friends). There is time to share photos of the kids on Instagram and talk about breastfeeding struggles and successes on Twitter / in Facebook groups. I’ve been able to connect with other moms through the MomCo App (an application designed to help busy moms network with moms, businesses, and events in their area) with forums and check out play dates we might be able to start going to once I can drive again (more info on this app is at the end of this post!). I’ve been able to blog and share more, get my feelings out.
My village, both virtual and in real life, has really been here for me throughout this journey of being a new mom. They’ve known when to reach out, when to hold back, and when to stop by the house and visit. It’s been glorious, and for this reconnection, I am grateful.
Three: Being a new mom means I can reconnect with my family. It’s been made abundantly clear that something about our previous work-life “balance” needs to change. Our ‘lil family requires more kiddo attention, to all four of the ‘lil Burghers as well as the parents. Greg was able to take off a few weeks around the birth and it showed me how much our family unit was suffering from the way things were before the girls. In the time since, we’ve all reconnected and been able to find each other on new levels.
This time of being a new mom has given me a new perspective on the big kids. Evan grew two feet in the three days I was at the hospital and Arianna learned how to use the microwave to cook (not so cleanly) breakfasts and lunches. They’ve expressed needs like more hugs, more sleep, and more time outside that we’ve been able to give them because we are here with them. This reconnection with them is the opposite of what I thought would happen as a new mom, but I am grateful.
This time has also allowed me to bond with the twins (obviously) and Greg in new ways. Being an older new mom than I was six-and-a-half years ago gives me a new perspective on our relationship as parents and a couple. We communicate better than ever before, even in the midst of no sleep, and I’ve realized my husband’s love for me through the way he is with the kids. For this connection, I am grateful.
Hopefully these things I’ve learned while being on new mom / maternity leave will stick with me not just in my return to the corporate world but also as the girls and big kids grow. Hopefully I’ll remember what’s important and good in life versus getting caught up in the “have to do’s” and spend more time in the “want to do’s”. With this being my last time as a new mom, I’m scared that I’ll forget, so I am hoping my village(s) will help me remember.
Want to know more about the MomCo App? I think it’s really cool because it makes finding other moms that have similar aged kids super easy. You can plan or attend playdates or simply talk to other moms through the forums. There is a section where you can find local businesses that cater to us moms and there are even exclusive deals on there. It’s like a one stop shop app for us mamas.