This one is a hard post to write tonight. My heart is torn in so many ways, my mind still numb from current events.
Last night, as my city celebrated winning the Cup, another city was in shock over an attack, the brutalist of modern history. Here I was, just living life, tweeting, blogging, watching the game…trying anything I could not to have to think. Not to think of words. Not to think what if it had been someone I loved. Not to…anything.
I’ll admit, for the last 29 years I have not been so kind to myself. This year, I turn 30 and have turned over a new leaf in my quest to be healthy (and that’s not just the physical, it’s the mental, too).
Specifically, the years I spent in college and in Myrtle Beach were the harshest on my body. I entered college at 253 pounds (eek!) and “never looked back”. There were days when I would eat pizza for all three meals and did not care in the least. I had a “plateau” weight that I pretty much maintained through college then dropped a good bit of it off upon moving to Myrtle Beach, only to pack it back on during an abusive relationship (where I forgot how to love myself, since I figured I was unlovable being beat and broken).
Last weekend, we were blessed with seeing this beauty at my parents’ house. I hear that a praying mantis comes to you when there is a need for peace or calm. As someone who keeps extremely busy, this praying mantis was a sign of the need to just be still and enjoy the small things. She let me take photos of her for many moments (I was kicking myself for only grabbing my kit lens and not the 50mm!), a sign of her patience.
raising kids in Pittsburgh