marriage Archives - 'lil Burghers

Seven Springs Surprise

Friday was a positively gorgeous day. I enjoyed a few moments after work with my co-workers, treated myself to an iced coffee with coconut milk, and headed home. I had no idea what Greg had waiting for me.

Usually when I open the door I am greeted by the Bigs and the dogs, one or all of them typically pushing the Twins out of the way to get to me first. On Friday, I was greeted by silence. The house smelled incredible and everything was in its place. Assuming the Twins were napping and the kids coloring, I snuck to the living room to find no babies. Greg was in the kitchen smiling like a kid on Christmas.

He’d surprised me, planned a Seven Springs surprise getaway on his birthday weekend. After some stressful months and almost two years with no more than a handful of (non-consecutive) nights away from the Twins, it was time for us to get some alone time.

I cried.

Then I asked if he was kidding.

Nope. He’d planned this all behind my back, conspiring with my parents and brother to take care of the kids. We’d been saving some gift cards I’d won in a few contests for just the right time and here it was.

Friday night we stayed home and enjoyed a 3-mile bike ride, time in the hammock, pizza, and some tv. Saturday morning he woke with me and the sun for a run (3.1 for him, 7 for me). It was amazing to run with him and not worry about the kids and their bikes, we hadn’t done that in almost three years.

We headed up the mountain I grew up on and enjoyed a sunny, warm, and beautiful ride into God’s masterpiece. Along the way we talked, really talked, about things that didn’t have to do with work, money, diapers, or our hectic schedule. I felt so alive.

His plan to have some laughs played out- we made it in time to catch about half of the Pond Skim. I’ll admit, it was hilarious and I know he enjoyed it tons.

Next, I was whisked away to the Trillium Spa where I had an afternoon of treatments. I was spoiled (and reminded “happy wife, happy life” when feeling guilty over it being his birthday). The spa is the best I’ve ever been to and service was like no other. In fact, I still feel chill days later. A bath, wrap, and massage later, I met up with my husband who got to catch a nap.

After enjoying some views of the slopes (people were skiing in t-shirts!), we had dinner (which promptly made me curl in a ball because I couldn’t resist the gluten, lesson learned).

Sunday was a leisurely morning of breakfast and heading home. Reality set in when we had to stop for diapers, but gosh did we miss those girls and their sister and brother. Soon enough, we were enjoying time with them at our (Greg, Ava, Isla, Mom, and my) birthday dinner at Fortune Star, a family tradition.

This surprise was exactly what we needed…and we hope to continue to get the chance to sneak away every now and again. Thanks, Dad, Mom and Jack!

Unconditional

This morning, I had a gut check with Greg about us. He has no idea that is what it was, but it confirmed his unconditional love and acceptance of me.

We’ve been hearing about Me to We, ways to strengthen our marriages as to honor God, at church. Every week, a new focus and lesson finds us pulling closer together. Maybe that’s why this moment this morning worked like it did.

I needed to talk right that moment because something was bothering me in between pangs of pain from a toothache. This something could turn quickly into big thing that really could have an impact on our family (in a way I do not want) and if I didn’t talk to someone it was going to end in an anxiety attack. Thank goodness I was working from home. The problem for most people is that my husband was not really available in a place many would dare venture, but I barged in and sat on the side of the tub and let my tears and fears flow.

He put down the phone and listened, unconditionally. Easing my fears, making me feel worthy of his attention, his eyes connected with mine. He didn’t offer his tips for resolution any further than giving me a sense of sanity in my situation.

In that moment, Greg filled my cup and made me remember why I fell in love with and married him, why I’ll be staying with him forever. His love for me and my imperfections is unconditional.

While we may not always see eye to eye // don’t fit society’s typical marriage dynamic // cheered against in each other in a basketball game this afternoon // are not built the same // aren’t wired the same … we are just right for each other.

In a world where women are making a real difference and vying to be equal, I want to encourage you that finding a oneness with your life partner is also important to this balance, too. My mother-in-law shared how a bird’s wings (man and woman) must be equal to soar – and it’s so true, thus why I work to be the best part of our pair of wings that I can be.

Me & Greg – soaring as one at the Aviary’s Condor Court

Interested in a study on relationships? We highly recommend “Relatable” (affiliate links help us and our nest!).

All In

Disclaimer: I won a fellow blogger’s giveaway and got to meet Robert Armstrong for a photo shoot. The images below were presented to us as our winnings. Although his services were free of charge, I wanted to share his talents and recommend you check him out. We loved how Robert connected with our kiddos. He is a wedding photographer, but also captures special moments. Feel free to check him out at robertarmstrongphoto.com. Thank you, Robert, for the beautiful photos!

This past weekend, the ‘lil Burghers headed to Cortland, New York for a wedding (more to come on that). One of the most tear jerking moments of the day was when our friend Ash gave a toast and noted that when She spoke with Olivia (a bride/good friend) about the concept of pre-nups, she didn’t believe in them. She, like Greg, believes that when you find the one, they aren’t needed…

…because when you go, you go all in.

I happen to know someone else who believes in that.

Someone who five years ago was packing up his life to give all his chips to a bet on a girl from Pittsburgh.

And her sweet ‘lil girl.

So that they could start a fresh life. all in.

For better, for worse.

For richer, for poorer.

In sickness…yes, even the man cold. In health.

He was all in, and he taught me that was the most important thing. What resulted was our happily ever after.

Remembering Each Other

You may have noticed we slacked yesterday. No blog post, shame shame. This was intentional through most of the day and then critical at the wee moments before bed. My eyes were blurred, my mind was shut off, our day was simply done. What a good decision to step away for a moment and just *be*!

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Sometimes, stepping away is crucial to any relationship. In this case, it meant Mr. Burgher and I stepping away from our “addictions” and just enjoying time together. You can’t lose sight of the couple when married–you are a person, a couple, and then a parent.

So yesterday, we did that. I let go of work to-do lists and he let go of coupon organization. We did go shopping as a family, but as a reward enjoyed salmon burgers for dinner. Mr. Burgher and I (in between kiddo interruptions) even got to watch two movies (thank you, Valentines present from moi) before the day was done.

It sounds so silly to think that you can live with someone but feel so unconnected, but you can. There are days you feel like you’re just going through a routine of lunch packing, work/school drop offs, fundraising, working out, diaper changing, housecleaning, story reading, and dish washing. That’s why couples need and deserve moments, days, weekends, and even weeks to just focus on each other and remember why they are a “we”.

Mr. Burgher, I applaud you. You never let me lose sight of us amidst all the crazy that is our life. You keep me connected to you, even if it is through a random “I Love You” text in the middle of the day or a kiss when you return from a late night couponing trip. I hope we can teach our children the importance of continuing to date their spouse and not lose sight in the mundane day to day of life. Your focus on us will be a powerful model for them, and I thank you.

A New Status

(Sort of.)

This morning, Mr. Burgher decided after 2 1/2 years, 2 kids, and a house, it was time to put a ring on it. He delivered the sweetest proposal then slipped a ring on my finger. 😉

We got a good laugh about how a water bottle ring brought tears to my eyes, but we also realize that sometimes a ‘lil spark is just what a marriage needs. After two kids, a dog, a house, two busy jobs, and completely doing a 360 from where we were when we started out, you sometimes get lost in the stuff.

Yesterday, we talked about how parenting is hard, and I won’t lie and say marriage is easy…but it is more than worth it. I’ve been blessed with an amazing man who loves me through the T’s and D’s, the sunshine, rainbows, and unicorn farts (which DO glitter). Everyday I wake and realize how lucky we got.

Mr. Burgher, I am looking forward to all the laughs that our future together will bring. Thank you for always pushing me to see that everything really will be alright, every little thing.