Last Friday’s Bloggy Moms Blog Dare Prompt was actually quite appropriate to write about, but since I didn’t use it, today would be appropriate.
What my Friday Night Used to Look Like
* When I was 9…I would have friends over or would be at a Campfire Kids event. We would be hyped up on pop and pizza and enjoying VCR movies, games, crafts, and trying to burp the alphabet.
* When I was 13…My parents would have picked up a set or two of our cousins and we would be having a sleepover. My friends and I would be making them dance to the Spice Girls.
* When I was 15…I was proving I could stay up all night at a youth group all-nighter. We would sing about our love of God, play volleyball, worry about what the boys were doing, and giggle way too much.
* When I was 17…A football or basketball game would precede a night with friends at one of our houses. Giggling, talking about our crushes, and staring at yearbook photos.
* When I was 20…Enjoying half price food at Fuel n Fuddle (we got there by shuttle from Chatham to Pitt) with my best college friends.
* When I was 24…Dancing the night away at the Beach Wagon or Revolutions with my roommate and her friend Greg.
* When I was 26…Talking all night to that same Greg as we embarked on our long distance relationship and A snored away in her crib.
* When I was 29…Met up with a co worker while we were on vacation…but we were so old and tired that a game of darts and pool and 10 was time to call it a night.
Friday nights sure have changed as I have gotten older…but I happen to think coming home after a chill night out to the sounds of my two ‘lil babies snoring is pretty nice.
On October 8, 2008, I was handed that bundle of joy and expected to know what in the world to do with her. I was a first time (single) mom.
I had spent months worrying about making sure everything was “just right”–were the crib slats close enough together and the changing table sturdy enough? They say nothing can really prepare you for being a parent, but I think with this one, I got lucky. Aside from her milk allergy and RSV at 2 months, she really was a good baby. My parents were there for the first two weeks, but after that, Mallory, A, and I were on our own. We made it, testing out the waters with a newborn.
Being a first time mom was not at all a scary feeling for me. I had decided to keep my child because I fell in love with her even before I knew what she’d be like. Having A gave me a purpose, a focus, a reason. She was truly my everything. We grew together, learning about the world and love. We fell in love with Mr. Burgher (she did first–blame her!) and renewed our love for Pittsburgh together. Being a first time mom was actually an amazing experience for me–one I’ll never regret.
Today I was prompted by “The Blog Dare” over at Bloggy Moms. Honestly, the prompt intrigued me and helped me find something to write about today, so I was super excited to play along. Today’s prompt is “How my idea of “easy” has changed since becoming a mother.”
“Easy” sure has changed since I became a mom. I can’t tell you that life is any harder than it was before, but I can tell you that my definition of easy sure has changed. Here’s my thoughts about how “easy” has changed.
1. Getting out the door. Back in LBK (Life Before Kids), I was able to get out the door with a small purse that contained (precisely) a phone, chapstick, a compact, my ID, my debit card, my health insurance card, and a hair-tie. There was no one to kiss goodbye, and locking the door was a breeze with two hands. Today, I have a huge tote bag as my “purse”, filled with lots of “in cases”. There are sippy cups, snacks, blankets, crowns. All require multiple trips to the car and then it’s back up the stairs to separate the kids from their toys or the dogs or both. Locking the door with one hand while trying to make sure A doesn’t run down the stairs and on the street or ‘lil Man decide to attempt mastering going down the stairs all while balancing an umbrella, coupon binder, and my water sure is fun. (Wait–is that me or Mr. Burgher?) 😉 BUT, I have two free-spirited kids who have their wants and needs (like getting a goodbye kiss before I head out the door or a favorite blanket to snuggle in the car), and I am so lucky getting out the door is no longer easy.
2. Flying One ticket meant barely any dent in my budget–I used to fly up and down the coast multiple times in a year to visit my family in PA. I could jet with one carry-on and maybe my laptop (as long I wasn’t scrapbooking). Four tickets (and oil prices) hurt the budget. Car seats, strollers, sippy cups, diapers…do I need to go on? But, flying and watching our kids look out the window to the world below (even when they cry or I get vertigo) is still a great memory. Maybe not easy, but great.
3. Dating and Seeing Friends In LBK (and LBHusband), it was easy to stay out, meet people, and not worry about what to do with the kids. Although I didn’t date much, I was free to enjoy nights out with my friends into the wee hours of the next day. It was easy to meet people who shared my interests and to maintain friendships (even with people who lived 10+ hours away from me). Today, to go on a date means that Mr. Burgher and I have to make sure my parents are able to watch the kids (which, let’s be honest, we are really lucky because they love to and frankly have weekend custody many weekends because they are so attached to the kids–who wouldn’t be?) and that we I am able to stay awake past 11. Last night, for instance, we went on a date to the grocery store. It was quite romantic, picking out trash bags and pickles. 😉 And seeing friends? Well. I have friends who live close, and I haven’t seen them since? Christmas? I have friends who live just about an hour up the highway and it’s been many months. I have Tweeps and PodCamp friends and we rarely meet up. Our kids don’t keep us from seeing each other, no! Our kids keep us in the house or at the Aviary or Zoo and not at the mall, the local dive, or the hockey rink. Life has just changed. It’s not easy relying on just family and each other, but it sort of has become reality. Thank goodness we all stay in touch with the internet, right?
4. Health Before (and ok, some after), Mr. Burgher and I didn’t care so much about our health. We both smoked, ate a lot of fast food (or Ramen or wings and pizza), and exercise was getting out on the dance floor for the “Cupid Shuffle”. It was easy to not care about our health or how the immediate decisions were impacting the future. Three years ago, Mr. Burgher made it easier to care. He made the decision we would both put down the butts cold turkey (which with the exception of a few social slips by me, we have). I continued on cycles of yo-yo dieting and committed myself to a good plan in October. Recently, we started training for Mud on the Mountain and will go for a run together later this morning. We get checkups and flu shots. It’s harder to care about your body, but so much easier in the long run.
5. Love In LBK, I thought love was easy (but oh let me tell you, was I wrong). You fell in “love” and that was that. LBK and LBH was such a different love. With kids and a husband, love isn’t easy because you can’t stand to be without them. You yearn for the moment they’ll be back in your arms (even if they are back-talking or climbing over the couch), every second without them is like an eternity. It’s hard to think about how life without the three smiles would be.
Feel free to share how life has changed for you in regards to ‘easy’!