My Grandma: A Year Later

How has it been a year since I got that call that you had gone to be with Jesus and your Daves? How has it been a year since I sat at your bedside and held your hand for hours before I finally had to let go and say goodbye?

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My Grandma passed away a year ago today. This is the only “generations” photo I took with Arianna, my mom, and her although we had almost 7 years to capture others…

The big kids still ask about her. “How does she like Heaven and being with God?” They sing “See You Again” and then tell me they are glad they will see her again.

The twins will not know her in their earthly life yet I am confident they know their Great-Great. And likewise, she knew of them even before Greg and I did.

And I miss her. I miss her in my early mornings, especially when I smell coffee or read the Sun News (although online is not the same as the still crisp third-hand read I would get in her dining room). I miss her on Friday evenings when I am still not sure what to make for dinner because we had a 4 year pattern of being at her house. I miss her when I drive by “the field” where her body is, when we have a picnic at Aunt Wink’s or Uncle Dave’s, or when I cheer on my football team. I miss her when I feel like I am not being the best mom, I wonder if she now sees my family and is glad I had that “third kid” anyways. I miss her when I watch tears well in the corner of my mom’s eyes when we share the good memories. I miss her when there aren’t Christmas or birthday cards signed “Love you, Grandma” and think back to the messages she used to leave in them, gentle reminders of the love this woman had for each and every one of her kids, grandkids, and great grandkids.

Today is not going to be the easiest day for some of us, but that is ok. Grandma was loving and well loved. She may not always have seen eye-to-eye with each choice we made, but she loved us and should be missed as we do.

But today, even tho it is tough, I celebrate the good times. The 31 and a half years I got with my Grandma. The 10 years I got of her living in PA. The almost 7 years she had with Arianna and almost 4 with Evan. The woman that had a part in shaping who we are.

Love you, Grandma (Great).

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