Disclaimer: I was provided with a book to review and one to give away in exchange for this review. All opinions, however, are 100% my own.
When I was asked to review “Love and Respect in the Family” by Dr. Emerson Eggrichs, I was overly excited. Something has been eating at me for months. I’ll go right out and say it, because you all are my safety net: I don’t feel like I am a great mom. I feel like a fraud. Reading the pitch for this book, I knew I had to take up the offer and learn some tips.
Here’s what I was told about the book:
Written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, it is not just for parents of young children – it is also great for those whose kids are grown, but with whom their relationship may be broken or hurting. Either way, it gets families off of the ‘crazy cycle’ (parents feeling disrespected and treating kids unlovingly, kids feeling unloved and treat parents disrespectfully and around and around it goes…).
I immediately was brought to tears and responded with a yes. Now, that was about a month ago. The shipping was super fast, but my eyes, ears, and heart weren’t quite ready to read. I got sick, I got busy. I pushed it to the side of my dresser and figured I’d get to it. I apologized to the rep, and dug my heels in and started to read.
Truth be told, I was having a really hard time reading it because I really want to be a good parent and break the cycle of craziness in my house…and in my relationships. I wanted to learn how to handle conflict, but I wasn’t exactly ready to listen.
Once I dug in, I appreciated the framework that Dr. Eggerichs puts around the book. His childhood was not perfect. He didn’t raise his kids perfect. God didn’t make us perfect, either. It’s all really okay. He takes a look into his own raising and how he and his wife Sarah raised their three children, inserting Biblical references to guide us as parents.
Speaking of guide, there is a section of the book, “The Family Energizing Cycle”, that is based on the acronym “GUIDES”, a way to parent as set forth in the Bible. We need to give our children enough to meet their needs (which affirmed for me why I can’t stand the kids being spoiled and why we’re working on them being givers). We need to understand our children (I am working on this – it’s hard for me to understand that a 5 year old does not think like a 30 year old). We need to Instruct our children (like when I talked to the kids about why there are stoplights/rules for a reason). We need to Discipline (but not PUNISH) our children so they know when they’ve made a poor choice (we talk about this a lot). We need to Encourage our children and help them with the things that God has given them (I”m going to work on this with my smart kiddos – we need to enrich their brains more and more). And finally, we need to Supplicate in prayer for our children (I’ve already started praying that God is raising them a good partner, just like my parents prayed the same for me).
It’s not easy, this parenting thing, but it wasn’t intended to be. When we as parents can understand that our children speak in love and we speak in respect and need to meet in the middle, we can have the balance that God intended.
If you’re interested in reading this book yourself to guide your parenting skills, you can find a copy on http://loveandrespect.com/family-book/ for $14 plus shipping.
One lucky reader will be sent a copy of this book – enter through next Sunday 1/19! (Note – this is a new to me giveaway tool, so please let me know what you think.)