When people tell me how proud of me they are, I usually smile and say thanks. In fact, it’s still a work in progress, so sometimes I even get down on myself and say how far I still have to go. Truth is that deep down, I feel like they don’t really get how real my struggle has been to go from fat to fit.
Yeah, sure, I’ve run half marathons (yes, that’s plural). I’ve lost 173 pounds (in total, not off my highest weight!) over the last six years. I’ve done things I never thought I could (like jump off a sail boat into the Caribbean or jump up on a box at a crossfit class). But I hate that people probably think I make these things look easy, because they are not.
Imagine you are in a starting corral of runners and you start to breathe really fast because you’re looking down at your body and looking at the body next to you. You start to question if you really should be here doing this thing. You are not a runner! You quickly forget the miles and hours of training, the on point eating you’ve done in the last five months and just hyper focus in on the moment. It’s crushing. It’s numbing. And it’s a real struggle. You forget that (even though you are still working) your journey from fat to fit has been full of way more endurance than many of the people with the full marathon bibs have ever gone through.
Or maybe you are laying face down on the floor of a crossfit class wiping away tears because you can’t do burpies and you really don’t want to be a baby about doing them again. You justify your thoughts that you have way more pounds to lift off the floor than anyone else in the room and jumping up with this much flab just isn’t pretty. You forget that a year ago you were laying face down on a different floor crying because you were so tired of being so tired and unwell. You forget that you have come so far, all you can do is focus on that moment and get down on yourself.
Even if I make it look easy with my posts about running and Whole30, I am here to tell you it hasn’t been. I’ve had to overcome a lot of physical and mental struggles. Even when I was at my thinnest in 2014, I still had a lot of issues. (I couldn’t do a burpie or box jump, for instance.)
But what I can say is I am working on being proud of how far I’ve come. And sometimes, that may show too little or too much. This is all part of my journey, and I am thankful for those who support me, those who get me, and those who are inspired by me. No, it’s not easy going from fat to fit – but it’s my struggle and I’m loving it.
Ur doing great. U look great. Don’t give up.
Thank you, Darla! It’s been a lifetime battle, but with support like this I feel unstoppable.
You’re rocking it! Keep it up, girl!
Thank you, Summer! Every days gets a little better, this is a good addiction!
You are a special person to face the words you provided in this blog. To show readers the fears that you face with the activities that face you each day you do these high intensity workouts. Believe me every person has the same thoughts across the board while gaining control of behaviors to better their lives. If it’s the amount of weight that surrounds a body part or the lack of that surrounds the bar that is being being pressed in a direction of the muscle that has less muscle surrounding a bone! These are issues that we at crossfit only measure inside our own heads. It’s the weight of team that is replaced when another member may have a struggle of the weight that is being pressed overhead while thoughts of who was saved by the day haunts another members heads. It’s the possiblities that a child may not be reaching a potential that is being pushed away when another members feeling they did not reach a students potential because that member could have taught something a bit differently for a lesson. Another members day to day struggle from another country because they have just earned freedom on a new land is being pressed from their shoulders because they received another new friend that encourages them to keep going. We are a team that do not measure each other and keep the battle going. We together relieve that stress on the heart that we judge ourselves with and work together one grouping of exercises a day to prevent at looking at a problem as a entirety! We breathe change of life, body, and attitude by supporting our goals to change with no judgement because you are their for not only your change, but for ours as well! Each day you arrive to completion of the tasks that build a better tomorrow for yourself. You don’t give up and do not need to feel this way unless you let yourself down and because of Y-Fit team we will guarantee your struggle will be worth it. You do not fail to stop your workout when you are faced with the challenge when you are unable to do the motion, but make sure you get the motion in to achieve better results for the next time instead of just standing there! Keep it up. You are helping more than yourself more than you ever will know with this blog! Let’s chat on Monday! See you Monday CS and RM
Thank you, guys!!! XOXO This really means a lot. We all have our struggles and because we are FAMILY now, we help each other so much. I love this – “we breathe change of life, boy and attitude by supporting our goals” – yes, yes, yes!! Can’t wait to workout again Monday, talk then.
The fact that you keep going despite if it all should make you very proud! Anybody can keep going when it’s easy. It takes guts to keep going when it hurts.
Thank you, Chaton! Average stops when it gets tough, I’ve heard. 🙂 Almost 10 months in and I just keep wanting more. xoxo
You are amazing! Reading your post I felt so proud of you and you have given me the encouragement to continue on my journey no matter what it takes and how long it takes. I have over 150 pounds to lose and sometimes it scares me because that is like losing a whole person. You have shown me that it can be done. Running marathons?!?!?! I’ve tried running but I always felt like I was too fat to run. What did you do to train? I would love to be able to start again. Good luck on your journey!
You’ve got this, Sandra! I’ve had to make myself a priority in order to be the best me I can be for my family. The payoff is worth it. Best wishes!