This was a bad morning in the world of the ladies of ‘lil Burghers. It got real and fast. I go back and forth about sharing, but I need people to understand that being a mom, being a parent, is not always easy or pretty.
You see, Greg and I have a man cold. I’m calling it man cold because I have never felt this way before and am a miserable person. Yet, because I am a woman, a working mom, I shower, dry my hair so it looks half decent (okay, it looked pretty darn good for me today), and pull on my big girl panties and go to work. Greg’s “lucky”, ha. Not really. He has to deal with being all out sick and having to play 2,000 questions all day and keep ‘lil Man from biting his big sister’s back (true story, happened on Monday night and I have no idea how one ‘lil mouth gets on someone’s flat back…but I am straying off course here).
Anyways, I was in the midst of getting ready and told Arianna to brush her hair. Four minutes went by and she was still stalling, just standing and watching me. I lost my ever loving mind. “You know, kid? You have one job to do as a four-year-old and that job is to listen. You don’t have to put on a show that you feel fine and go and do grown up stuff. You just have to listen to your parents and today you failed.” Oh my gosh. I said that to my kid. I wasted my energy and what little voice I had to be so evil to my kid. I told her she failed.
Immediately she brushed her hair then exited the bathroom stage right. She wouldn’t talk to me, and I was in tears for telling her she failed. I mean, c’mon Beck. She’s four years old. It’s not failure. The only failure that was going on was me being a good parent and just brushing her hair for her. But I was afraid to fail and be late dropping her off at school. I was afraid if I didn’t tell her to do something for her self I’d be failing in setting her up for an independent lifestyle. I just couldn’t win. When you add a “go get ’em” attitude to a man cold to dealing with a four year old, it’s just bad, bad news.
Did I fail as a mom? No, I don’t think completely. Did I fail a parenting test? Sure. But I think all parents are going to do that from time to time, right? Did she come back in the bathroom a few minutes later and apologize? Yes. Did I apologize? You’d better believe it, hugs and tears, too. Did we have a good rest of the morning? Sure. But does it still hurt? A ‘lil bit. Will we survive and grow? Absolutely.
Being a parent sure isn’t always rainbows. I am sure I am not alone in my woopsie today, right? As a parent, or a child, what lessons have you learned about tough love or parenting while sick? Leave me some love today, k?
Arianna last year in our garden…something she is very much looking forward to this year…and today was a gorgeous day to think about summer, huh?