Everything I Didn’t Know I Wanted

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Seven years ago, I sat at a small table with a small baby child to my left and a computer in front of me.

I was supposed to be writing lesson plans, but I had lost my inspiration to teach. Yes, me. The one who had a life-goal to be a teacher. The one who finished her Bachelors and Masters in 4.5 years just to be able to get out there and teach. I was done and couldn’t think.

The small baby child to my left began to cry like she did anytime I put her down and tried to adult. It was hard to not lean down and grab up my daughter, the baby child that I didn’t know I wanted.

I grabbed her and she smiled.

Then she grabbed my finger and would not let go.

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She held tight for minutes, making it all clear. She was everything I didn’t know I wanted and more. When I held her, I was whole. I didn’t need to keep making my path fit the dream I wanted. There was more waiting for me. For her. For us.

And now, seven years later, she still is everything I didn’t know I wanted. My angel princess baby who is somehow a first grader who is artistic, smart, beautiful, and funny. She’s everything I didn’t know I wanted and more.

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