Making It

Comparing my belly bumps!

The last few weeks of pregnancy are tough. I keep wondering if I will be making it all the way to the day we decided to bring the babies into the world or if they will decide to come earlier.

Throughout, I keep saying I want them to “bake” longer…but I have to admit I am getting tired and anxious and just want to hug them on the outside. There are moments…more often than I’d like to admit…that I tell them it is okay to make their entrance.

Of course, I gave them some exceptions. Like Friday the 13th and pretty much every day before that because now we are officially at the one month away from (singleton) full term.

Don’t get me wrong. 38 weeks plus three days is going to be an incredible feat. But so is just getting through each day at this point.

Today, for example, I woke early with Greg to watch some tv after his shift. We went to sleep at 9 and then the big kids let me sleep until 11. When I made myself some soup for lunch, it wore me out and I started second guessing wanting to do anything else but sleep. Since that’s not an option, I made a list and put the kids in the car to shop for class treats for Evan’s class Easter party and food to last us at least this week. I came home to make a cheesecake, rest my feet, watch some more tv, and finally completely tucker myself out making pizza. Ok. That’s a lot for someone who should be relaxing to do…but it’s not a lot for me to be doing. A year ago, I would have added a 5 or 6 mile run, scheduling several blog posts, and prepping the week’s lunches to this list if not more. So yes. I am slowing down like I should…but maybe still not enough.

I promise I am trying to bring these babies into the world in April (I might be slightly partial to the month). I promise I am hydrating and keeping my feet up. I just am really ready to hold my babies and then beg for time to go this slow again (because it won’t).

How on earth did I do this with Arianna and Evan? She was born at 2 hours away from 40 weeks and he 2 days before. I got this…and can make it another 2 weeks and 5 days. Those last 24 hours might be the longest of my life…but I will do everything I can to keep making it.



Note: I wrote this Monday; however, didn’t have the energy to log in and publish.

This week, for a moment, I felt like a failure. I had planned out a whole weekend of fun for my husband and I before our almost 2-year-old came home from an extra week of vacation with her Grammie and Pappy in Canada.  About half of it came off successful; however, as a person who tries to strive for perfection, it was tough to swallow “failure”.  You be the judge if we did the right thing.

We successfully went to a Pirate game on Friday with some of my family for a cousin’s 6thbirthday. The evening then turned into date night of firsts as planned—the Duquesne Incline (something I, a Burgher by birth have never done—shame!) and the Rivers Casino.  Maybe I am partial to the Mon Incline (since I’ve done it a gazillion times), but I felt a lot safer on it than I did on the Duquesne.  The view, as always, is breathtaking, but next time I’d prefer to drive up or just settle for the Mon.  The husband wanted to re-live “She’s Out of My League”; however, I told him over and over they were on Mon Incline overlooks. Point proven. Ha! Next was the Rivers. A great time, but Friday night at 12:00 is not the time to be getting signed up for a Players Card. Good thing we waited, it made me tired AND we got $20 in free play, so that kept us satisfied for about 30 minutes (plus $6 of our own).  We ended up tired and ready to go $46 of winnings in at 1:15, but there’s always room for breakfast on date nights, so we went to our local Denny’s. (Why no 24 hour Eat N’ Park is near us is beyond me!) Came home and our dog was sick in his crate—NEVER good for a woman who suffers nausea all 9 months of a pregnancy…good thing I have a stellar husband who can handle messes.

Saturday morning we slept in for a good while then I got to catch up on Twitter, Facebook, and Google Reader (couponing FTW!).  After a bit, I started to feel nauseous and emotional (part of my blames my anti-nausea meds, the other part the pregnancy), so I laid in bed a cried a good cry.  Frankly, my brother sent me a picture of my daughter hamming it up at a Wendy’s and I realized how much I missed her little face.  So I talked to my husband and we decided that there was no doubt, we needed to meet up with my parents and get our little girl.  That meant, unfortunately, missing out on a date night with good friends—a tweetup slash reveal party for @SecretAgentL.  I was torn, but in the end a night of further bonding with our daughter, enjoying Big Bear Pizza (my cousin’s pizza shop in Ford City—you must try if you haven’t), and relaxing in the pool (she’s swimming with wings!) won my heart.  (This is where I felt like a failure because I broke plans, but to see the look on her face and hear her say Dada and Mama when we walked in the door meant a million dollars to me!)

Sunday morning I had a minor shopping list (including replenishing diapers—oops!) that kept me awake all too early, so off I went, barefoot, in a downpour to shop.  Being pregnant, my four stops got me more tired than I’d expect, so the afternoon was spent watching “If You Really Knew Me” and “Extreme Home Makeover [from Loris SC, circa 2007]” (thus making me miss my past life as a teacher of less fortunate kids in South Carolina but so glad for the blessings we now have).  Next it was off to a cookout at a co-worker’s where I pretty much just sat in a daze because I was so exhausted.  We got home and took the sweetie for another swim then she and I crashed early. My husband woke me in the middle of the night (he’s VERY nocturnal) to show me pictures of our friends twins who are in a NICU and OMG they’ve overcome so much and gotten so big since we saw them a few weeks ago—life is a great miracle!

All in all, I think that spending time with my family was worth every second—I just wish weekends wouldn’t go so fast and weekdays go so slow!  The princess is growing by the inches and talking a mile a minute. When I look up at her baby pictures (the desk SERIOUSLY needs updated), I tear up because she’s not the little helpless being she was not so long ago.  Good thing I have a good dose of baby coming in less than 5 months (19 weeks pregnant today)!

time to start fresh

Over the past few years, I’ve attempted left and right to blog–whether on my own or as part of a bigger project.  Most weeks, I was too busy to write…but I truly miss writing because I have a lot of material to work with…my almost 2 year old, a stay-at-home husband, life in Pittsburgh, and a pregnancy on top of all of it.  So this blog, ‘lil Burghers, will be dedicated to my life as a working mom trying to balance everything (of course including my Facebook Frontierville!) and go to bed feeling sane.

You’ll see and hear a little bit of everything in this blog–I don’t really have a theme except “Mom”, so that’s what you’re getting, my Scatterbrained thoughts!

…off to keep the little princess from getting into the recyclables again…