Today was the day I was supposed to be going back to work. Spoiler, I didn’t.
Not sure if I’ve shared in this space, but I had a complication after my c-section delivery of the twins. Ten days after I delivered, I spent about six hours in the ER being seen for my incision opening and tunneling, as well as sky-high blood pressure. It was the first time Greg and I were away from the girls and it was super scary. They ended up having to re-open my incision 13 centimeters long, 2 centimeters deep and about an inch wide. It was horrible and painful.
In the time since then, I saw a home health nurse every day for the first 4 weeks of healing and now am on an every other day regimen with them. The wound is pretty much surface level, but it’s still a gaping hole in my body.
What does this mean?
Well, for now, I am not supposed to be lifting the twins two at a time or anything heavier than one of them. This is hard to do because Greg has been back to work for six weeks and I am stubborn as all get out. Just last week I was cleared to drive if I am not in pain / on my pain medicines (which I am choosing not to take so that I can handle my responsibilities around here). My first big drive was on Monday to our family Memorial Day picnic and I was so ready for bed when I got home.
So what about work?
As you know, I am a work-a-holic. With Arianna and Evan, I was ready to go back at four weeks. Today, week eight, is the first day I have wished I was at work versus at home. But this time is different due to this complication in my healing process. If I wasn’t in pain / had to change a gross packing on a wound every single day in the last 6 and a half weeks, I would’ve been ready around week five based on my emotions that week.
The girls are growing strong, but because I am pretty much limited to the couch (and a few walks around town that I’ve had to take because STIR CRAZY), they are super attached to me. Like I can’t leave the room without them crying. This is presenting problems for Greg. He’s used to the big kids being attached to him, and the girls aren’t quite there at this time. When I do go back to work, he’s going to be their morning caregiver. They’ll learn, but for now we are working hard to get them independent of me and reliant on whomever can soothe them.
This has been hard. And when I do go back to work, I am really lucky. My employer has flexible work arrangements in case my full-time return to the office is not possible. I am confident that things will go smoothly as soon as I am back on my feet. It’s just been a struggle. After gaining 60 pounds, I’ve lost almost 50 of it, but my body has changed. I want to be back on a schedule and away from the temptations of kiddo snacks and ice cream, too. There’s so much that’s been rough about this, not just physically, and I cannot wait to be back.
What’s next? I see the doctor on Tuesday and from there he’ll let me know if I can head back to work next week or if I need some more healing. The wound looks good, but until I can sit at a desk for hours at a time / carry more than 8 pounds, it’s going to be tough. We keep praying for my recovery and are so thankful for those of you who’ve done the same.