Any married couple will tell you, it’s not easy. When Greg and I got married, my dad included something along those lines in his sermon. He also talked about finding the love you have for each other to get you through those uneasy times. Watching he and my mom throughout 33 years of marriage, I know he knows what he’s talking about.
After six years together, Greg and I have come to the conclusion that we didn’t marry the person we are today. That’s not easy. It’s even less easy to actually type out and admit. But what it is? Reality. Marriage isn’t always bouquets and bubbles like your wedding day. It’s about work and loving the person your partner (and you) become as you grow old together.
Back when Greg and I got married, we were still young. Neither of us was ready to be a parent financially or emotionally, but we did it. Greg even more than me. We were in our mid-20’s, still trying to figure out what it was we wanted to do with our careers (frankly, we still don’t really know). I got pregnant at 24 and Greg quickly fell in love with our daughter. Instantly, we went from two single people to a family. Honestly. We only dated for two months before he asked me to marry him and changed his whole life to move to Pennsylvania with us. I was working as a contractor (and got hired at my current employer the same day we got engaged). He was a part-time security guard. Neither of us had savings or credit to our name.
Today, at 32 and 31, we are both very different people than we were at 26 and 25. I’m crazy driven (always have been), and Greg takes the slower pace of life (often stopping to “play in the grass” as Thirty-One’s CEO Cindy Monroe says of her husband, Scott). I work long hours while he raises the babies. He didn’t know about my German/Scotch/Irish temper, and I seemed to block out his inability to get out the door in a timely matter. We have two car payments, a mortgage that would make ramen-noodle eating pregnant me of 2008 throw up, four kids, and two crazy dogs. We are not the same “Greg and Becky” that we were on July 11, 2009, but we still have one important thing – each other.
No, I didn’t marry the Greg that Greg is today and he didn’t marry the Becky that I am today. We both married an idea of what our futures could become. Some of our hopes and dreams about life and marriage have come true over and over while other things make us question what were we thinking. In the end, it’s all about leaning on each other, learning about each other, and getting to know how to love someone over and over again.
Greg, I’m glad that I didn’t marry you because it’s been an amazing journey learning to love you in new (joyous and challenging) ways every single day for the last 6 years and four months. I love you.